Baby

For some reason, now that I have Athena, I have random strangers coming up to me and giving me their advice.

Such as, “Where’s the baby’s socks?!” Or, “She should be wearing a jacket.” Or, “Your baby’s hungry. Feed her!” Or, “SHE SHOULD NOT BE WEARING BLUE!!”

Usually I just smile and go on my merry way. Occasionally I have had some very insistent people (these are usually the ones who are convinced I’m starving my baby) who repeatedly express their concern until I just walk off. Sometimes I’ll say something like, “Well, she just ate, so she’s not hungry, she’s tired.” (They never look like they believe me.)

It’s interesting that it’s happening now, since nobody said a thing to me when I had Tommy. I had always read that this was common for new mothers, but since it didn’t happen at all with Tommy, I figured people in Hawaii just didn’t do that sort of thing. Clearly I was wrong! Apparently, when it comes to babies, everybody knows what’s best for your baby… except you.

As for why it happens with Athena and not Tommy, I have a couple of theories as to why we’re treated differently:

1) Athena’s a girl. Perhaps people worry more about girls, thinking they’re more delicate and sensitive and more care is needed or else they’ll be traumatized. Since Tommy was a boy, perhaps they weren’t too worried about me scarring him for life, thinking anything I did wrong would only toughen him up. Of course, it isn’t always readily apparent that Athena’s a girl.

2) My age. I was only 20 when Tommy was born, and my wedding ring no longer fit at that point. I must have looked uncomfortably like a pregnant, unwed teenager, which caused people to shy away from me. Now that I’m older, the age when I’m “supposed” to have babies, people have no problems stating their opinions… especially since they probably think that this is my first child.

I know people mean well. Still, while I may not know everything (yes, I just admitted it… but good luck getting me to say it again), I know my child better than they do, so I can only hope that they keep this in mind when they go up to new mothers and offer their advice.

On a side note, you wanna bet that in 20 years, I’ll be that stranger overly eager to share my shining insight with a new, exhausted-looking mother?