I wrote this on a napkin one day while working at Chik-fil-A.

I kinda wish I could look back and laugh, but really, I’m not sure that I’ve changed all that much. At least now I keep my emo thoughts to myself instead of writing them on fast food napkins. (But even then, it’s probably only because I don’t have the time or energy to keep up a journal anymore.)

I’d like to believe that, structurally at least, my writing has gotten better. It was hard to copy the passage here without editing it first. Parts of it make me twitch.

4/12/2003:

Today, like all days, is a day for sadness and misery. On this day we shall prance around barefoot and in the snow, surrounded by darkness and yet impervious to it, with peals of maniacal laughter. We shall remain alone in our own little places within our minds, until the time has come to be freed, and with our new-found liberation we shall disappear into thick air.

We were created to fall away. Into darkness, into a pit of despair, into the realm where only you exist and the rest is only in your mind, where you are alone and there is no one around to hear your screams.