I’m getting worse. I normally start to have problems in the early afternoons, which is why lately going to work (at 2:00pm) has been so much harder. Once I get to work, I’m usually okay for the most part, if a little uneasy.

Thursday got worse in the sense that I had an even harder time than normal, with much more intense symptoms.

On Friday, it started from the moment I woke up. All day I was on the verge of a panic attack, having difficulty breathing and wanting to cry. I couldn’t think about leaving the house without nearly breaking down. It didn’t subside at all once I got to work. I just wanted to say that I was sick so that I could go back home and hide.

Now not only do I have difficulty making phone calls, I have difficulty receiving them, too. I often don’t pick up my phone when it rings, even when I want to talk to someone. I almost never talk to my parents anymore, even though I think of them every single day.

I don’t initiate conversations on AIM. I don’t respond to emails. I rarely even blog.

I just wish someone understood what I was going through. I feel like I’m going through all of this on my own.