Archive for August 20, 2008

I finally got through all the hoops with one of the suppliers, and am now able to look at their catalog and price lists.

Only to discover that their “wholesale” prices are only slightly lower than retail. With shipping, it seems to cost about twice what it would sell for retail. What am I missing here? This is the distributor mentioned by the actual manufacturers, so you’d think there would be more of an actual, you know, profit here. Or am I expecting too much?!

Poor Toby has been working his butt off to finish up our website so that there’s more to it than what we have now. He’s been working on the design (which looks really good now, though you won’t be able to see it until it’s published) and doing research on some technologies to use on the site. But if we have no items that we can really sell… will all his effort have been wasted?

I’m getting really frustrated. It’s so hard to get information, and I think I must be missing something if the “wholesale” cost is twice the retail costs. So how, exactly, is this supposed to work?

I tend to have dreams that are recurring in nature. For instance, for several years almost all of the dreams I remembered upon waking contained some form of abandonment. I have a few themes that my dreams tend to fall into, and these themes are found in the vast majority of my remembered dreams.

I’ve spent the last few weeks dreaming of a childhood friend. Regardless of the thoughts and emotions of the people in my dream, the dreams are always melancholy in nature, perhaps because I know that when my dream self is happy, she’s living a fantasy that will never be.

Last night in my dreams, I couldn’t get her to talk to me, couldn’t get her to really even notice I was there. She was too busy speaking to someone else. This in particular is sad to me, probably because of how closely it mirrors reality. I woke up feeling kind of lost and very alone.

I wrote several months ago that I was going to let this go and finally move on, but it seems that I haven’t. I still think of her every single day, and I still am hurt over her lack of effort towards retaining our friendship. I don’t think it will be possible for me to move on and finally make some friends of my own until I reconcile these feelings and memories. Until I learn to truly let her go, I will never be able to fully heal.