Archive for December, 2007
The World’s Uncoolest Person
Dec 13th
…is me.
The final I had today was really easy, and I finished within 10 minutes. However, the professor requested that nobody leave within the first 25 minutes so that others don’t get disturbed. So I spent 15 minutes observing everyone else around me.
During that time I happened to notice that the people sitting in front of me kept talking. The girl would lean over to the guy, whisper something, he would say something back, and then she would scribble furiously on her test paper. Or the guy would write something on his paper and show it to her and she would scribble on her paper. I watched them do this for several minutes.
When my 15 minutes were up, I slipped a note to the professor telling what I saw. He didn’t look very pleased, to say the least. I know I put him in an awkward situation, and I feel bad for it.
So, yes, that makes me a tattle-tale. And the world’s uncoolest person.
But if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s people who refuse to take responsibility for their mistakes. Cheating is inexcusable. If you did not sufficiently prepare, suck it up and learn from it. I see no reason why someone like this should get a better grade than someone who put all their time and energy into studying. It sickens me.
A new degree
Dec 8th
Just recently I noticed a new degree program being offered at my school: an MA in Korean with a different focus than the previously existing MA. This new degree is what I had in mind for myself when I started out as a Korean major originally. When I first saw this degree, I felt excited and elated. Apparently this is the first degree of its kind offered in this country, so it would be a fantastic opportunity for me if I were able to take it.
But… I can’t. The final requirement is to spend 1 year studying in Korea, which is simply not possible for me. I asked if they were able to make exceptions for students who had family or health conflicts, but was told that at this time they cannot make exceptions. It makes me really sad. I suppose if I really, really wanted to, I could start the degree with the knowledge that I would never be able to finish it, but that’s kind of depressing. Oh, well. Wishful thinking, I guess.
On a similar note, the professor who offered me an RA-ship has not gotten back in touch with me. I even tried contacting him to ask what was going on, but have not received a response. I have to wonder if he’s lost interest in having me work for him. I finished my application for graduate school with the understanding that I would have this RA-ship to fund my studies. If that falls through… then what?
On yet another note, the company that I thought I had a really good chance of getting into never contacted me back. Toby says they were waiting to see if I would contact them first, to gauge my interest. I never contacted them back because I thought I was supposed to wait for them to contact me.
…Sigh. I suppose what goes up must come crashing back down. I’m sure things will work out, but it’s sobering to see all the opportunities I had originally suddenly seem like they’re disappearing.
Mercy
Dec 5th
Warning: Those with weak stomachs may not want to read the rest of this post.
This morning, as I was walking to class, I came across a baby bird on the ground. It must have been attacked by a cat or something, as its head was partially removed, hanging onto its neck by a thread— yet it was still alive. There were hundreds of ants crawling all over it, and it was in a lot of pain, kept twitching and looking around pitifully. I couldn’t bear to see such a small, helpless creature be in so much pain. So I covered it with leaves, found a large rock…
…And I killed it. I feel so horrible. Sick to my stomach. Dirty. Even though I know that what I did was merciful, preventing it from dying a slow, painful death… I feel so sick. I keep smelling blood and death, and I keep wanting to wash my hands. Even though I covered it with leaves so I wouldn’t have to see it die, there was so much blood… I can’t get it out of my mind. I cried for at least 30 minutes afterwards. I just can’t stop thinking about it…
It seems so cruel that the only way to be merciful to this poor creature was to kill it. I wish there had been a way to save it, keep it from having to go through that pain at all. It doesn’t seem right.
I’m sorry for such a gruesome post, but this was really traumatic for me. It bothers me that I ended a life, even a life that was in so much pain. Why does the concept of mercy have to include such a horrible act? Why did I have to be the one to come across this? Why do I have to feel so bad about this…?
Recent Comments